Desserts mark celebrations and are ritual in social events and who doesn't love dessert?! To be clear, there are definitely some sweets that are better than others. Regardless- navigating sweets with consistency and inclusion can help define a good relationship with food.
Eating sweets is actually an important part of nutrition.
Let's shift gears and talk about how to set you and your family up for success with dessert and sweet treats:
Excessive sweets and certain processed junk foods containing high amounts of sugar may already be in your daily eating routines. If this is the case, I suggest establishing structured mealtimes and snacks with real foods. Ask yourself:
Are you eating actual meals?
When? Is it too infrequent that you are starving by the next time you eat or perhaps, are you grazing and not having enough time in-between meals?
Are they good meals? Meaning, do you like what you eat? Are you eating enough or too much?
Are these meals balanced with more than 2 food groups?
Does it include protein, whole grains, fresh fruits or vegetables?
Start here! Set up a minimum of 3 mealtimes daily and add snacks if you find you need more food between these times.
Next is finding regular times that sweets can be offered. Dinnertime is typical for most people. However, if you or your child have what I call "insecurity" around sweets and show tendencies to eat in excess or feel sick after, it may be wise to make additional routine times in the day where sweets are offered.
For instance, eating a full breakfast, followed by a mid-morning sweet. Also including one at dinner every night- and not just the weekends, holidays or special occasions. This should be all the time. If you or your kids know when sweets will be offered and feel it's normal to have them daily, it can be a lot easier to let go of the preoccupation of sweets.
One caveat for kids- if your child isn't asking for sweets or treats regularly, they don't have to be served every day. As long as they feel they are getting them often enough to stop eating on their own without feeling sick, you can be less consistent about a ritual dessert.
The amount of sweets needs to be set and consistent. One serving at dinnertime is the ticket! That means look to see what packages or recipes suggest.
If it's Halloween or Easter and there's a big bucket full of candies, set the number and give your kids the choice to pick out which one's they will enjoy at that specific time you've set.
Lastly, when it comes to mealtime sweets, consider serving dessert along with the meal. Dessert isn't the reward to eating a meal. Think about it... We were all raised with the rule that you have to eat certain foods and certain amounts to be allowed the foods you really want. Think of it this way instead- emphasizing that certain foods at meals have to be consumed makes those foods the undesirable foods whereas the dessert is elevated to being a reward. The dinner table a hostile place with when we are using sweets as a negotiation.
By serving dessert with the meal and allowing dessert to be eaten first, the other foods on the table are not threatening. When new or challenging foods are less threatening, it's a much better environment for kids to be curious and experimental, and at the least, accept these foods on the plate.
The take away from eating teats is this: Sweets are essential for a healthy relationship with food. Set consistent and choice-oriented boundaries for you and your kids so they can learn to enjoy sweets along with all their foods!
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